Where does your child end and you begin? Well the answer is they don’t. Our children are the most important people in our lives. What we need to remember is that they are not the only ones. We all have those spouses, friends, work family, church family and the list goes on. And ultimately in the end there is YOU! Finding you is the goal!
You, the one who loved…..
The you, the you who loved to read books and go shopping with friends or decorate and scrapbook. No matter what your “You” was be sure not to lose sight of her. You will want her back. For years you will feel so consumed in raising your newborn and then your toddler that you won’t even realize that she is slipping away. However, you will have a day that comes when you eventually realize you haven’t done those things you used to do in years and the new you is only really a “Mom.” Again, by far the best title and most important job we can have but you will need to dig the old you back out at some point and you will know what that is.
You may emerge an entirely new person. Sometimes having kids changes who we are and changes what’s important and this is absolutely okay too! Knowing who you are will be the most important key to finding you.
Start incorporating those fun things you used to do back into your daily routine. This may only be a few minutes a day or maybe an hour a day. You make it work for you! Find a time during nap or during play that you can either consume yourself in it or maybe just add it in as you play, but either way do it!
challenges, we all have them
I think a big challenge for me has been balancing spouse time while working full time, being a Mommy and doing a few extra business items on the side. Prior to having our son, it was just us and now most of the time it is the three of us. He is our world and is absolutely amazing but we know we should find more time to do things for just us as a couple. It would probably be good for him too. The times we do go out he is our main conversation. It used to be what has been going on all week, plans for the weekend, plans for vacation etc.
You see the trend here. Not only do we sometimes lose ourselves but we can lose connection too if we aren’t careful. In 20 years (hard to think) this connection will be all we have. If time goes as it should our son will grow and gain his own independence and life and we will once again be just the two of us a good 90% of the time. Make sure to make you and your relationships priority too! it will always be worth it!
Make time, make fun, travel a little, enjoy being a Mom, enjoy being a Wife, and enjoy being Yourself! Make new Mom friends and create new hobbies all while finding you!
some key ideas for finding you
So maybe some key ideas for those nights out should be some of the following:
- Go Dancing!
- Game Night On!
- Have a picnic (that’s simple enough)
- Cook Together
- Exercise Together
- Prioritize Time Together and maybe with friends
- Journal Together
- Go shopping!
- Dinner and Movie
- Coffee Time!
- Fishing
- Hiking ( if you live in the South this is a must!)
This list could really be endless depending on the things you like to do, but for some extra spouse or friend time these could be key ideas. Do them slowly, do them once a month, just try it! Finding you is the goal remember!
some ending thoughts on the article
After Motherhood I hope you have emerged a stronger, more beautiful version of yourself and who you were. You are more important not only to you but to your spouse, your kids and even those friends you may need see much these days. Never lose sight of your goals and your dreams. I promise you they are never out of reach, but only if we make them attainable. Now, go find that girl!
Also read my Moms Corner Blog for You MOM-That exercise time! Link attached below!
For blocking off that time weekly, monthly, quarterly whatever you need try this agenda journal below. I purchase it every year as it changes! It’s small, it’s affordable and it absolutely works! Affiliate link provided.
