Raising boys in the South is really a courtesy to the women and the parents of women who will one day love your boy. You want to raise the most courteous, helpful, wonderful young man that you can. Here in the South that looks a lot like holding doors open, opening doors, helping carry groceries and yes ma’am and no sir.
Trying to act like my child isn’t a wild banshee at home during the day would be a joke, but going out in public I expect my banshee to pull his crap together. I expect politeness, more quietness and above all respect. He knows we expect more of him and though he tries to push his limits (many times) most likely he will be the little boy I am trying to raise.
We as parents have to remember that if we expect our children to be courteous we must use the same manners ourselves. We must say “Please”, “Thank You” and “You are welcome.” Children base their behaviors from their most prominent surroundings, and guess what Mom and Dad…that is you! Once they hear these things a thousand times it really becomes automatic to them to do the same.
Eating out with your child
I have never once wanted to be that parent who makes everyone else’s dining experience exhausting because of my own child’s behavior. We didn’t do it for years. We didn’t really eat out very much because we did have him three months prior to covid hitting. Now we try to take him out to restaurants and expect good behavior and amazingly he does well but not having prior experience we have been fortunate with this.
Telling the waitress “Please” and “Thank You” is super helpful when you want your children to follow you by example. So let me say that looking back taking my child out for a weekly dinner may not have been such a bad idea. We all learn as we go.
Respecting women
Raising boys in the South this comes naturally I believe. Caring for women is not just a gesture here it is a “way of life.” When my husband and I married I had no doubts that he was the absolute best man. He was raised and grew up in an amazing family where respecting your mother and women was a part of who they were. My husband honestly is one of the best men I will ever know. He cares for me even when I don’t realize it. He does things without questions and without asking. He asks me when my oil needs changed in my car and he checks my tire pressures randomly.
He leaves me gifts and makes my coffee. He is always watching out for my well being and I am so blessed that my boy can see this and follow by his Dad’s example. My son will never know to act any different than what is displayed in our home and what we have is “love.”
Making them wait-not receiving immediately
I know we live in the “give me now” world. I also realize that most things do just come automatically. We no longer have to wait on mail and we no longer have to wait on groceries and so on. Our give me now society comes naturally and we all come by it honestly. I want my son to know the excitement of waiting on mail and the excitement of waiting on getting things. I had a coworker this previous year before retiring who took it upon herself that during her travels she would send my son postcards and letters. Just knowing he had mail would light his face up. This builds character.
We write letters to our best friends in South Carolina and we receive mail from our friends whom we see each year at the beach. She is Kason’s best “beach friend” and she sends him stickers and books and small things that mean the world to my boy. I am so grateful he gets excited for them. So make them wait and give them that learning curve of realizing that when we have to wait it makes our outcome even more special. Time and efforts are not wasted on building patience in our littles. It will be a necessity as he gets older and he needs to know how to handle it.
Give them a last name to live up to
My husband is very proud of his last name and where he comes from. On top of that he is proud to have been raised with his family and they are super close. When I took his last name, it gave me something to live up to, something to cherish. Knowing he loved me enough to share his last name with me still means the world to me. It is a special thing that men are able to share. I want my son to know he has a lot to live up to. His Dad is one in a million and hopefully we are raising another one in a million. He looks up to the things his Dad does and he wants to be as big as he is and as strong.
I value this knowing my boy wants to be just like the man that is raising him. As a Father this can say a great many things about the type of person that you are. I have no reservations that my boy is being raised by the best. His example and his footsteps will always be hard to follow but he also leads by example.
Simply Said here this is Raising Boys In the South!
Take them to church
We are not always the first ones there or the ones there each Sunday, but when Sunday comes my boy knows its “church day.” He knows the bible stories and the reasons for the stories. We talk about the ark and the animals and who Jesus is. Taking them to church to learn about who Jesus is, is super important but at his age being at church means a little more to me such as having good role models and being around positive people who love him. He knows he is loved and he loves them. In the next few years I anticipate my son growing in Sunday School and learning his basic bible stories.
I had this as a child and honestly Sunday School and Wednesday night service is where my core values of church were taught and learned. So whether you practice religion (or not) children need a community. I know I’m probably not the best Mom on the block but exposing my children to church will never be something I regret. This one always come to mind when I think of Raising Boys In The South.
Have and make friends that love your children
I could reiterate this a million times but if you have these friends in your life you already know what a blessing it is. I have a small group (super small actually) but they are the absolute best. I never have to question that they always have my child’s best interest at heart as I do theirs. They are the friends who love your children unconditionally and all because they are yours. We are a small family and our children are best friends because we are and that only makes our bonds stronger. Make those friends who have your back and your children’s as much as you have your own.
These are your people and these people make life so much sweeter. They are positive examples that will help guide your children to their youth and on into their adulthood. Pick them well and be okay with small!
Last but not least…let them be boys!
If you know me, you know my boy is ALL BOY! You also know we are raising a boy in the South. We play in the mud, the dirt and we catch all sorts of nonsense. We love bugs, caterpillars, salamanders and worms. He loves playing! My son went to Pre-K this year, not necessarily because he or I was ready but circumstances played out that it was necessary. Don’t get me wrong I think the exposure to sickness and the friends were both a huge benefit this year. But having him home and outside playing and watching him just be little and just be a boy is the absolute best thing in the world. Kids need that.
Kids need to learn to play both with kids and by themselves, they need that time to play and not be expected to sit, stand, walk and just be at certain times of the day. They need freedom and to me the longer the better. So I’m going to continue to raise my little banshee just as I am. Learning to be patient, to love, to be courteous, be proud of who he is and to have fun! After all life is short, always make the best out of it. Raising Boys In The South will always be a wonderful thing!
I hope you have enjoyed this short read. I am going to place a few links below to some things that we love and to some things that we enjoy! I hope you enjoy them also. These are affiliate links and are no extra cost to you, just a link that I will get a small fee from if purchased so if you decide to purchase please use my links!
Water Guns: 40ft Range 6 pack- These are awesome for family water fights!
Bop Bag and Socker Boppers
Bounce House/Ball Pit for Kids
Family Pool
